I'm not entirely sure where this post is going to go to be honest. I've never liked being too personal on my blog; obviously I do share some things, but I tend to not pour my heart out too much. But it's got to a point now that my personal life is affecting my blogging in such a way that I feel I owe you all an explanation.
Basic point: I don't blog very frequently anymore because I'm not very happy in my own life. I really don't want to come across as a complete misery guts here, because in many ways I am very blessed; I finally live with my boyfriend, we have our own place and I am employed. But its a lot more complicated than that, and I'm not really sure where to start.
I suppose in regards to blogging, it boils down to the fact that I don't feel creative anymore. I don't do much drawing, or reading, or sewing in my spare time. I've never been very good at getting myself out of a rut, and if I'm feeling down about one thing it tends to effect all areas of my life. Instead of channelling my efforts into something else, I tend to get caught up in self-pity and criticism. I recently had an interview for a proper graduate job, but unfortunately I didn't get it. I'm still really disappointed about it, because there were lots of things about it that made me feel like it really was the right time for me.
I guess all of this is coming off the back of that job rejection really. I just feel completely out of control in practically every area of my life at the moment. But I just wanted to explain myself properly rather than fob you off with excuses of being busy and forgetting, because that's not really the reason why I'm not blogging. Obviously my uniform is a problem so I simply can't do the amount of outfit posts that I used to, so I really need to learn to incorporate other things into the blog. Every time though I sit down at my laptop to try and write something different I just feel tied down by the expectations my readers have. My blog has been so based around outfit posts for so long I just worry that people won't want it to be more of a lifestyle type blog. This isn't to say I haven't been taking outfit photos at all; I have a huge stash on my camera but I just feel so unconfident in terms of my body and my writing that I haven't shared them.
I'm also not engaging with the blogging community very well anymore. This might sound daft, but since getting a smartphone I find I don't comment as much; I tend to read blog posts on my way to work but don't want to comment on my phone's tiny keyboard! I'm going to try and make a real effort to get myself back into the swing of things comment wise.
And I suppose as well, blogging wise. I know I have tried several times to do different types of posts, but I am now just going to do them without worrying about people's expectations. I'm not promising anything amazing, so please bear with me. I'm trying to not focus so much on the things that are bothering me and trying to focus my energy into some more creative endeavours which will make me happy, and hopefully more employable! I'm actually going home for the weekend as well so I'm hoping some time with my family and my cats will help.
Apologies if this has bored you, but like I said, I felt you all needed to know what's been up with me the past few months. I'll hopefully see you on the other side.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Monday, 13 May 2013
H&M jumper dress, Mtng Originals boots from Polly, Aberystwyth
Just in case you didn't know which film character I was referencing in this outfit, here's a little picture for you. Ever since I saw Coraline a few years ago, I have been on the hunt for the perfect pair of blue cowboy boots. Now, I must admit, this search had not been particularly fruitful, so imagine my delight when I spot these beauties in the window of my favourite Aberystwyth shop! I raced back to get them the next day and have been stupidly excited about them ever since. I still can't quite believe how perfect they are. Not too high a heel, end at just the right point on my leg, nice metal detailing around the toe and the heel... Sigh.
Because I'm secretly a 6 year old inside I obviously had to attempt to dress myself in a full Coraline outfit, although I must admit I did hold off at the yellow raincoat. Saying that though, I have actually recently bought a yellow raincoat, but I am planning on doing a whole separate post on that at some point. And I really would like to have blue hair... Let's not get too carried away shall we?
In other news, I have been fairly busy over the past few weekends- meeting up with Kathy and Maria to go to a vintage fair in Oxford and heading back to Aberystwyth for the Bank Holiday weekend. I shall do some posts on those soon, but I was just too damn excited about the boots to not show you already! Although to be honest, this is a fair chunk of my Aber post really, all the rest is just a picture of some cake and the seaside. But you know, who doesn't love some cake and seaside?
I'm going to bed now before I prattler on any longer.